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Here I am.
Apr. 24th, 2007
May. 14th, 2005
09:57 pm
Tonight is such an amazing day....thank you Marcus for making more happy then I think I have ever been before and doing so with so few words.
May. 11th, 2005
May. 8th, 2005
03:45 pm
In the past I have always just blown some things off as the way I am or the way I was brought up, or always have been. Today I did a lot of thinking and have realized that no, I really am kinda messed up. I strive for a sort of what I envision in my head as perfection and what I want to be and how i think that they are supposed to be. For example some foods I just think aren't supposed to go together and so i refuse to eat them together, even if it is probably really good. That's probably why I also have a difficult time with change. I'm done for now, I don't want to make myself think about this anymore then I am.
May. 7th, 2005
May. 6th, 2005
01:04 am
So everyone that I was going to go with or possibly going to go to The Good Life show with has either a) backed out on me or b) suddenly changed plans and is going with someone else. I was looking forward to this show so much, i had really deserved it, at least in my mind i had. all last week at school i was studying for finals and packing and since i have gotten back have done nothing but working. all day. my life and days consist of waking up, going to work, working, eat lunch, work more, go home, eat dinner, sit at home, go to bed, repeat. i haven't been sleeping through the night lately. I wake up between 4 and 6. This show was going to be able to give me a break, something to do, somewhere to go, something other then working and sitting at home. I guess now I'll just work later tomorrow. It all just bothers me. All I do is work, that's not who i want to be, or who i am. i am becoming that thing i always hated, the thing that all they do is work. theyh ave no fun, no social life. i am going crazy sitting at home. i have a tendency of not being able to sit still at home for more then 2 hours max unless i'm asleep. I'm going insane, becomming quite upset and all i really wanted was a night out with friends and well that's not going to happen now. Over all I suppose I am just upset because of all that, and not getting to see an amazing show and also wasting $10. I just wish everyone would have backed out prior to 9 pm tonight when i bought the ticket. That's one of the reasons I waited so long, was to make sure people were going with me, and when people said yes, i got the ticket. and then they change their mind. well i suppose that's the way life is sometimes. right?
i feel like i'm in high school again. sitting at home, everyone is busy and i'm yet again working my ass off. and everyone else has plans and i am yet again pushed to the side. which only makes you re-evaluate all your friendships with those people and wonder what they really are. if they are really your friend.
okay i'm done venting for now...i think. blah, this all just sucks so much.
12:27 am
My day and evening just died, tomorrow is going to suck, more then ever. I wish I could get a break, just once. Go out, have fun, relaz. sigh....
May. 3rd, 2005
11:47 pm
Work making me tired. So far this week I have worked a total of...19 hours. it's tuesday.
tonight i went shopping with Kayla...I got 3 shirts. So cute and I still have $36 on the forever XXI giftcard. w00t.
i'm real excited about the good life show friday. tomorrow i am going to go get my ticket, no time today then when i had time it was pouring. so tomorrow it is. going to the show with Joe, even more exciting since i havn't seen him since...november. again, w00t. and that is all i think....
oh and i know you're reading this marcus and yes i miss you like crazy. :)
May. 1st, 2005
10:40 pm
No internet in room yet. Probably...tuesday or wednesday. We got the stuff for wireless however the PC cards we were given are all for notebooks, so we have to fix that. But that's okay b/c what we have so far (4 cards and the router) we got for free...seeing as we know the guy who yes, invented the wireless lan/network technology.
tomorrow i start work at 9 am. i can't wait. YESSSSS. Full time job for me. finally i have a full time job and not just 2 part time jobs like i have always had in the past.
I miss my friends. and Marcus.
12:31 pm
I am home. That is all for now until I get the wireless hooked up so I can have internet in my room. Best way to contact me is to call. P.S. I have a new home phone number so just call the cell.
Apr. 27th, 2005
08:03 pm
I leave friday. Packing today and tomorrow. I am going to miss it here but can not wait until next year at the same time. I will miss Marcus and my friends, but it's okay. I'll still see them. At least I better. haha. I love you all. :)
Apr. 26th, 2005
02:45 pm
My throat hurts. My nost is stuffy. My glands are all swollen. I feel sick and have been in bed almost all day. I'm kinda hungry but my throat hurts and I don't want to eat anything. Maybe some tea would help. Probably, tea helps everything.
May 2nd (aka monday) I start working full time. YES!
Mommy talked to the people at the bank and they are supposed to give me a "one time/first time courtesy refund" and she is supprised that they didn't. But because Mom is not on the account, they will not gtive me the refund without me there and they won't give me one here so yeah, when I get home Mom and I are just gonna go talk to the people at Suntrust because my at home branch rocks. Then we are going to go bank shopping, I'm thinking Bank of America. Everyone I know that has them, including my parents old business, has love them. Man I wish there was a Washing Mutual up here. I love those guys. SUNTRUST SUCKS. Yeah anyway...haha
Work starts May 2nd, I'm not sure when the store is supposed to open. But I'll know soon and I'll let everyone else know so that they can come buy tea from me. :) Time to go make tea and get more rest.
I hope no one else is sick.
Apr. 25th, 2005
09:59 pm
I think I'm getting sick. Well, allergy sick. Alleriges are killing me to the point of sinus headache and pressure and sore throat. I just want to go to bed. Oh that's right, I have a chem final tomorrow morning. DAMN IT. Guess I'll be up for quite a while still.
02:13 pm
I feel like I'm getting sick.
Suntrust sucks ass, I hope that they can fix THEIR problem.
Time to go be a bitch to the bank.
Apr. 24th, 2005
Apr. 22nd, 2005
11:06 pm
I honestly almost can not remember the last time I was this happy. Despite everything that's going on in my life right now, I still couldn't be happier. Thank you Marcus. Thank you.
Apr. 20th, 2005
02:31 pm - So here it goes....
Yesterday, aka the day from hell.
Well actually everything was going wonderfully, I was getting a lot of work done and what not. I call my mom just to say hi because I hadn't talked to her on the phone in a few days. She tells me that my Grandma Sharon's mom is going to die any day now. (I call her Grandma Sharon b/c Sharon is her first name and she is my step grandma and i remember when i didn't have a grandma on that side at all, i guess kinda like a step parent and how you don't call them mom or dad right away) ANYWAY so my mom's side of the family is all upset about that and on top of it my Grandpa, my mom's dad, finds out he needs hearing aids and that he is losing his hearing, which was no real surprise to any of us. However the hearing aids they said he needs are $1700...each. He needs one for both ears. Oh and they don't take insurance or medicare. nor will they accept payments in installments, the only way to pay for them is all at once up front. But they aren't going to get them yet because Grandpa also had an MRI which he has the preliminary results which state that he has an abnormal growth in his brain near his ear which could be causing the hearing loss meaning he may need something else/other type of hearing aid. But at least the growth isn't noticable and you can't feel it on the outside of his head...b/c it's so deep in his brain. But we got a new pope! So everything should be alright.
I met Briana after her class and we went to the car and then went to Starbucks b/c we figured I needed a little pick me up. We get wonderful coffee beverages which taste amazing and are on our way back to her apartment to study and do some work. We turn onto Staduim drive and we hear this strange sound so we decide that once we get to the church, we will pull over in the parking lot just to make sure nothing is wrong with the car. The church is about oh, 1/4 block away but we are sitting at the red light. A City of Tallahassee truck that was behind us comes up next to us and says that we have a flat tire and points to hte front driver side tire. We're like, shit that's just great. So we pull into a parking space at the church and Briana gets out first and looks at the driver side tires and says that they aren't flat. So I get out to look and oh, I foudn the flat tire right away. Let's just say...how to describe it...the passenger side front tire was, well the rim was on the ground. So I'm like alright, let's fix it. I have changed lots of tires in my day. So I inspect the tire to see if I can see the hole that caused the tired to go flat, i inspect every inch and see nothing so I figure that it a nail hole and a pin point hole in which case fix-a-flat works very well and lucky for us, my dad had given us some last time we went to my house for the weekend. I put the fix a flat in and it does nothing. So I figure that either the tire is larger and too flat for it to work or the hole is on the backside and i can't see it. I pull out the jack and what not from the trunk, consult the book to see where to put the jack, find the spot and as I'm laying on hte ground with my head under the car a man walks up and asks if I want some help, I say sure why not, because we'll probably get it done quicker that way. right? Now don't think Briana wasn't doing anything, she was on the phone with her dad trying to figure out where he wanted her to take the car to get a new tire/the old one fixed and calling the tire place finding out that they close at 6 and it's about 4:00 now. So we're like, 2 hours we'll be fine seeing as it's not that far away at all. Well the guy and I change the tire faily quickly considering neither of us had done it in a while, well I had probably done it more recently, umm...last time my Dad and I changed the brakes on one of our cars. Anyway, so he's putting the car back down and we're like yes, and uh oh low and behold, teh spare is flat. yup, flat. So now we're just kinda like well, fuck. So Briana calls the roadside assistance peoole, note it's now 4:30. And they said that the only thing that they will do is send a tow truck to us and he will have to tow the car to where we want it to go. The tow truck will be there in 45-60 min. Well note that it will take us now about 30-45 min to get from where we are to the tire place b/c of traffic. So yeah we're freaking out and the tire place said they will fix the car as long as we get there BEFORE 6. Well tow truck man comes at about 5:20ish and puts the car on the flat bed tow truck and we get a ride with him. (that was an adventure and a bit scary) But the man was really nice and understood that we had to get there quick so he was hopping curbs, cutting off cars, trucks and other semis. It was fun. We got to the tire place at 5:45 and the tire was so flat that they had trouble driving it into the garage. eep. But they get it in there and put a new tire on and pump up the spare and check all the other tires. Oh and did I forget to mention, we found where the hole in the tire was, it was a one inch slash on the side wall that looks kinda like someone could have done it and it would have been a slow leak but b/c it was so hot outside when it was sitting that the air didn't leak out but when we were driving it aggrivated it and teh air leaked out a lot quicker. Well, the tire place replaced the tire in like 20 min or so and we were on our way.
I am freaking out now because I have oh only my english portfolio due well now today but then tomorrow. Meaning I had to revise 5 papers basically and make sure I had all the journals, plus i have 2 tests thursday and 3 finals next week. But I end up calming down by the time I get back to my room at about 11 pm since we watched tv and ate etc at Brianas. Plus we both did work there too.
Last night I am getting into bed and my foot slipped on the bed and I fall. Only to hit the metal part of the side of the bed and giant wood crate that lives under my bed with the upper thigh/butt area. I fell to the floor where I think I also hit my back. I thought I was gong to cry. Anyway, it swelled up and lucky for me Marcus was there and he picked me up and put me onto the bed and brought me the ice pack, only to laugh at me the whole time. grrrrr, eh I forgive him. But even today it hurts to touch it, put weight on it or anything really. It's still swollen like my left pant leg feels tighter then the right. And that's just not right.
Then I went to bed. And so far today is much better. Except the pain part. That sucks. A lot. Okay, I'm done. that was my yesterday.
Apr. 19th, 2005
02:47 pm
This is yet another time in which I am asking you all to pray, think about or whatever you do but keep in those thoughts my grandpa and my great grandmother.
01:38 pm - Sooooo busy..
Okay so I have been so very busy recently as those of you who know me well, know. Eh, I only have 3 more papers and 2 more tests, this week. Last night I found myself in quite the odd mood, I was very talkative due to hte fact that in English yesterday rather then doing english work we watched Donnie Darko. Which, as always got me thinking and then going with Marcus to Todd's really made me think seeing as I was talking to him like crazy and about so many different things. It was insane yet I learned a lot about myself last night. Which is so in detail and in depth that I don't even want to get into it right now because I think that I would write for hours on it and I have somewhere to be at 2 and it's 1:43. let me just say that the past few days have been very intellectually stimulating which I enjoy so very much and was something that was missing in the past relationships that I have been in. I can talk about my random theories and my crazy trains of thought and my illogical way of thinking, well it's quite logical to me. Anyway I can't start on all this now i don't have enough time, the point is that last night and today have been wonderful so far. and I want to thank someone who means a lot to me for everything he has done and for stimulating me intellectually and well basically in every way possible and for listening to my rantings last night. alright and now I am off. bye.
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